My job is boring. But easy.
My apartment is falling apart. But easy...to get to the metro.
Here's a funny story:
I locked myself out of my apartment. There is a separate lock on my bedroom...well there was. I locked my keys in my bedroom. From work, I emailed the landlord...a landlord. He gave me the number of another landlord who tried to jimmy the lock with no success. I called a locksmith. I made an appointment for 6pm.
I left work to stop by my roommates work to get a key to the front door. En route I received a phone call from the locksmith, CANCELLING. Why? Because it was a Jewish holiday. And in her words, "98% of locksmiths are jewish". Apparently she was unaware of this when I called her at 3pm.
So I called another company...which turned out to be a front for the first company. So I tried another one. He said they didn't do houses, so gave me another number. I asked if this person was Jewish. He said, "No, he's black". I'm sure there are black Jews. In fact, I think this guy was one. Because I called 3 times, and left 3 messages, and got no response.
So I go home, and try to open the door with my grocery card. No workie. I'm prepared now to sleep in the hallway, but I go downstairs to ask my neighbors if they know any locksmiths.
SIDEBAR: my neighbor is a barber shop called Spott's. "Spott" is actually Lloyd, and Lloyd has two wonky eyes. He is the nicest guy on the planet, but I'm not sure I trust his hair cutting skills. There is another guy that works there who always yells, "Hey neighbor!!" when I come home. They are outside 75% of the time.
So they are outside, and they say they don't know anybody and just then a guy walks out from another house and they yell, "Salmon! You know a locksmith?!" "Salmon" walks over and says no, but Lloyd's not gonna let him go that easy. Lloyd convinces him to try to get it open for me. So after trying to climb the back wall, and beating and prying, my door is now open...and there is a huge hole in my door jam...
And "Salmon"'s name is actually Sammer. We also cleared that up.