Tuesday, September 29, 2009

America, fuck yeah

I was just reminded of something. While traveling recently, on multiple occasions, I was faced with people who were bothered by my referring to myself as American, or saying I was from America. It was usually a Canadian. My knee-jerk reaction was to shout, "Shut your flapping head". But I usually responded with, "With the stigma that now comes with the word American, do you really want to take those privileges?" Their argument is always that we are all part of North America. Well I'm not stopping you from calling yourself a North American. When I say I'm from America, no one gets confused. No one says, "Could you clarify? Are you from Mexico?" No one asks if I'm in fact Canadian when I say I'm American, or from America. Look, canucks. You are from North America and Canada. Mexicans (who have yet to complain to me about calling myself American) are from Mexico and North America. I am from North America, and the United States of America. That is TWO Americas. I get to say American. Shove off.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Apparently there is a German, French, and also a Brazilian version of The Office. All, I believe, came before the American version.

Is Ricky Gervais a genius? Have we already reached the apex of idiocracy?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Call the Shrink, I love the weirdos.

I feel like I should just say this. I love Russel Brand. Add that to my list of weirdos perhaps, but I love him. I acknowledge that he is strange, smarmy, and well, English. But I will marry him anyway. And sadly, this didn't start with this years VMAs. This years VMAs only exacerbated the problem.

The front man for All American Rejects is out of control good looking.

And Kanye West is short. Hot jawline. Perhaps was coked up this evening.

I feel like I'm disappointing someone with this year's VMA rundown, but I usually have a glass of scotch, so I'm not really in the mood.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I have an appointment with a career/life counselor tomorrow named Gino Maccaroni. That is all.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Recent Photography Homework

Boyd's son. Obviously. Roan.

Continued illumination with my mother.

and then she said:

Have you ever been to a care center for the veterans? (I have) Do you know what the government is teaching our kids? (I do) Have you heard the pledges for Barack Obama???>??? (I have)

read just one letter according to a mom in St. Augustine. attached. If you are truly "open" you will hear the truth.

To which I replied:

Once again, it's a matter of holding the government accountable. Easy peasy. That's our job as Americans and we are failing miserably. Power can corrupt anyone and if we continue to sit on our laurels and not hold the government accountable, this will be worse than the failings of forced communism in Russia. Who has taken up the cause of the VA hospitals? Who is making sure the government makes it up to standards? And what is the government teaching our kids? I've heard no one but you concerned, so I'll assume it wouldn't bother me. I don't even know what pledges to Obama means. Girl scout pledges? And these one letter this, one letter that tactics are cheap. I don't care who's side you are on, one person's voice is not an argument for an entire nation.

This morning, I sent her a link to Obama's terror driven speech. She immediately texts me back that this is the changed speech and the original was outright communism. And that she heard them herself. I can't find these originals. If anyone can, please send them. I want to do my part to hold my government accountable. The funny thing is, I responded:

That's fine. It's pretty sad we have to sign a consent form to listen to the president. Sad indeed.

She responds:

It's pretty sad that we can't pray either.

Well, that's a first for me. I had no idea Obama came into our homes and stopped us praying. Came into our minds at school and stopped us praying. Is he burning the churches too?

I responded:

No one said you couldn't. I'm sorry you need state sanctioned time to pray. I don't, so I'll say one now.

For the win.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Some pics given as gifts recently:

Swine flu boogie men.

My mother sent me an email about how we're all going to die from the lack of testing on vaccine that no one really needs. Here was my retort:

Again, the American people have caused most of this. For the record, Washington State University has over 2000 cases. Don't tell me it's not spreading. Don't tell me it's not faster than bird flu. It is. Period. And just like the Hepatitis scare in Asheville a few years ago, it's not about how deadly it is to most people, its how deadly it is to the elderly, children, and the already infirmed. People are being requested, not required, to get shots to protect the elderly, children and already infirmed. With that said, will I be getting a shot? No. I've never gotten one, and I won't start now. Also, I'm sure you're aware that these flu shots have always had health risks. People have always died from them. The risk has always existed. THe vaccine need is heightened now because the American people, the British people, and perhaps others have refused to acknowledge all the reports that say swine flu isn't that big of a deal and they have screamed at their governments to get more vaccines. And really, the point of the vaccine is to protect the innocent from the idiots who would get sick and continue to go to work, school, etc and pass it. Unfortunately some people aren't idiots and still have to go to work because they can't afford child care, but that's another subject entirely. I won't be getting one, and I won't be spreading sickness that I do get. The government is actually doing it's job for the most part on this one. It's the drug companies that are the most liable for any scams or health concerns. Precisely why our health shouldn't be left up to men with only thoughts of their pockets, instead of a government meant to work for the people.

Friday, September 4, 2009

A few unscheduled stops

I was at the bar the other night enjoying a Guinness. I thought I'd like to have a cigarette. I thought about purchasing some. Then I thought better of it. Less than a minute later I realized that the girl next to me that had just left, had left behind her full pack of cigarettes.

The next morning I went for a walk/jog. The walk was fine, but as soon as I started to jog, I felt a pull in my groin. (Unfortunately there has been no recent activity to account for this injury).

Clearly the Great Spirit wants me to smoke and never to run.

A dear friend gifted me a copy of Experimental Travel, a fantastic book of travel ideas that can be done anywhere. With this, and the environment, and boredom in mind, I decided to take the local bus into town yesterday. In a town this size, the public transportation was made to accommodate the poor, elderly poor, and mentally ill.

I planned to walk to the bus stop, about half a mile from my residence, but I seem to have pulled a muscle. But I was not deterred. I drove to the bus stop, conveniently located at the grocery. I ran in and got some snacks for my journey.

Bus arrives. I get in behind another woman. There are two people already on. One gets off soon. As we're driving down a busy road an hispanic woman waves down the bus. She is not at a stop, but the driver has a heart and stops a little ways down from her. She slowly, slowly makes her way to the bus. He tries to explain she isn't at a stop. She puts her child in the front seat and leaves her purse and tells him to wait a minute. She has left her stroller. The bus driver tries to tell her he can't wait, we're blocking traffic. The kid is getting nervous. I jump over and grab the kid to calm him down and she slowly, slowly walks back to get the stroller. Meanwhile we have to pull up and over. I start to think I may have just been gifted a small brown child. Finally she gets in and puts the stroller...in the middle of the isle. Knowing the lack of english this woman possessed, the driver looks at me imploringly. I dutifully get up and move the stroller into a seat. The lady makes no efforts to assist. I think at this point, she had decided I was a bus attendant.

Our next stop takes us to the community college where we pick up several people lacking the skills to possess a driver's license. The guy behind me keeps shouting directions to the bus driver. I think he may have been autistic or idiot savant, he was in the music program. Very polite, but the bus driver ignored him. Another guy, one of my class mates in high school, kept asking the driver about Michael Vick. He said, "He deserves a second chance. I mean he deserves a second chance. He deserves a second chance." Then about 5 minutes later repeated it. We got off together at the library. The driver looked at me and said, "You need to ride more often!" Maybe there's a position as bus attendant.

So I went to the library, did my business there and then headed up town. Ran into a friend at the coffee shop, did some more business (I'm a very busy person you know) and then he bought me lunch at a pizza joint. We sat on the sidewalk. The antique store across the street was playing the Duffy album. Another friend says, "What the hell is that noise?" I reply, "Duffy." She says, "What's a Duffy?" I reply, "That noise. She's very popular in the UK." My friend replies, "Oh", completely satisfied with the answer.

After sufficiently loitering at the pizza joint and entertaining a small hand full of passing friends, I headed back to the library to catch the bus home. Right on time. I get on and just a ways down the road another woman gets on with a stroller. She was rather vexed...as she was actually trying to get the stroller in the seat like a polite passenger. I gave her a hand. Just some padding to my bus attendant resume. I haven't paid yet, so I go into my wallet...to find no money. Assimilation complete. I'm sure people get on the bus all the time with no money, but I don't want to add to it. I start going through my camera bag hoping to find some change. I do! Rubles and Sterling. Crap. So I show it to the bus driver and say, "I must have grabbed the wrong money this morning." Like that's a normal thing to do. Oops! Must have grabbed change out of the Yen jar this morning! I tell him I'll pay double next time, and he offers to pay my way if I'll give him some of that change. So I paid my fare in Rubles and Sterling. Probably ended up paying about 3 bucks for a .75 ride, but it's not like I can use that coin anytime soon.

I'm gonna try to walk to the bus stop today and make it to the Apple festival.

Try something new today! Just taking a different mode of transport gives you a new view on your known world.