A Canadian friend of mine recently moved to Atlanta to work as a web something-or-other at a company that makes slot machines. He has to make five goals for the year that somehow concern his job. I thought I'd give him a hand.
Goal 1- Improve water cooler chat
Goal 2 - Become compulsive gambler so as to better understand end customer
Goal 3 - Stop having syrup for breakfast so as to avoid having to replace keyboard every month due to stickiness
Goal 4 - Affect "Pimp Limp" so as to better fit into new surroundings and therefore be happier and more productive
Goal 5 - Read Zombies for Zombies so that after the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse you will be able to easily adjust to new cravings and lost appendages and continue to be a productive employee.
If you run into a similar problem, I'll be happy to help you make new goals.