I wish I had photos for this. Yesterday, the woman who owns the hotel near where I live, left me a voicemail about emergency entrance into her daughter's softball team. The next voicemail was my father...calling to tell me this woman would call. ...Then another one from the daughter asking me again to play.
So I returned a couple of those calls and stated my ineptitude. I told them I hadn't played anything since middle school gym class. They took me anyway. (later the daughter still asked what sport I played in High School...uh spite?, is that a sport?)
They told me to wear a green shirt. I only have one. It says, "Say No to Luxury Condos." I'm not even sure this is an issue on which I have a solid opinion. It was a free shirt. It was a perfect shirt. The team I was playing with was made up mostly of Cliff's Developments people. Oh the irony.
So they put me in as catcher. In this position, my ineptitude should only affect my own ego, and not so much the direction of the game.
I am covered in bruises. My catch to drop/no-where-near-the-ball ratio was about 1-8. Got hit in the junk...rather the pubic bone. Got hit in the throat. And my legs look like I have the bubonic plague. My muscles are not used to this kind of use...abuse?. And my wrist looks like somebody hit it with a baseball bat...oh right, I did.
I thought we were playing at six and then I'd be out by 7:30. I left around 11. It was a tournament. After the end of the second game, a very bored and put-out looking man walked up to me and handed me a trophy. 2nd place, what? I turned around and the rest of the team was as shocked as I was. That was all worth it. They had been looking the other way and all turned and just stopped...and then laughed.
We went for beers, of course taking the trophy in. I overheard one guy telling his table, "They just won a big softball tournament. That girl in the bandanna is hot, she plays catcher." HA!
Also I went to Hairspray(lesbian bar) last weekend. I did not want to go, and I did not terribly enjoy it. But taking my presence into account, and my recent softball activity, I'm concerned I may have caught the gay. Well, whatever, things were getting boring around here anyway.