My dad is the worst roommate ever.

My dad. God love him (further proof I need to leave the South. The day I say, "Bless his heart", I'm just going to end it all.) And everyone else does too.

The Teet had a buy 2 get 3 free special on deli meats and cheeses. I know I didn't need to actually buy 5 to get the discount, but I'm a fregan, and I had to. I come home around 8 and my dad is already in bed. I get up the next morning and the entire deli drawer is on the counter. Why? He apparently got out of bed, was so confused by the meat in the deli drawer, he put it on the counter for inspection...and then left it to rot?

It occurred to me today that if I don't open every single one of these deli items now, that when it comes time for him to open them, they will all be mangled and left ripped apart for the contents to stale and spoil.

A few weeks ago, I started putting the dirty silverware in a cup of soapy water on the back of the sink. Lets them soak, and keeps everyone from stabbing themselves when doing the dishes. And when I'd find that dad had put silverware in the sink, I'd put it in the cup. It's my thing not his, so I don't mind. Yesterday I made dinner and happened to be in the kitchen while he was making his plate. He got his silverware out of the dirty cup. For weeks now, apparently he has been using silverware from this cup.

No dad, the plastic storage containers are not meant to be used as dishes, nor are they meant to be used in the microwave. Sincerely, blistered round plastic container, and friends.

No, not all shoes fall apart as quickly as a 10 dollar pair from wal-mart. Example: ALL THE SHOES I"VE EVER BOUGHT YOU. And yes, they are better for your knees. So don't get mad when you force me to buy you new shoes.

Fill sink with hot soapy water. So far so good. Leave dishes in said water for THREE DAYS. Then wash them in THAT SAME WATER! No. no. NO. And if the rag you are using smells like a swamp, DON'T USE IT. And yes, you should wash the bottom of the dishes. "You don't eat off the bottom of the plate!" But it does sit on top of the eating side of the next plate! Also, you may not eat off the handle of the pot, but all the same, I'd prefer it not be covered in grease when I go to use it. Thanks.

My father is a bachelor. He does not care. I am well past the age of living at home, and will be moving shortly. But for now, my dad is the worst roommate ever.