For the past week, my only contact with English has been VH1 Russia. On this channel, they show videos from the past 30 years. Mostly American or British and occasionally Russian and other countries. There are no VJs. Only videos and the occasional station identification. Its pretty awesome.
I just saw the worst song and video, well not ever I’m sure. But awful. Nicole Sherzinger? I think she’s in one of those girl groups, with Will.I.am, who I used to have respect for. The song is called Baby Love. And she repeats over and over, “You are my baby love, my baby love, baby love” There is no comma, as in “You are my baby, love” and neither is one inferred. “Baby love” is some terrible term of endearment. The only upside to having to sit through that video is it was immediately followed by Wham!’s “Careless Whisper” more commonly known as Never Gonna Dance Again. Gotta love VH1 Russia. Also I would like to take this time to point out that Chris Isaak is an overpaid porno freak. And its amazing how clear a voice the lead for the Killers has, considering he seems to vibrate when he performs. Unfortunately, he went through a phase where he liked to dress as Colonel Sanders. And when the hell did Colonel come about as a word? Clearly it says “Kolunel”. Kernel spells colonel, maybe Kernul if you want to differentiate from corn. Someone look into this and report back. Nickelback’s video for Rockstar. I resent all the people I respect that appear in this video. I resent that the regular people in this video look like asshats. I resent that the whole video looks like it was made by some 12 year old for a school project. I resent that Zach Braff used the same idea for Jay Clifford’s music video. It goes without saying that I resent the existence of Nickelback. Well it could go without saying, but I’ve said it one hundred times and will continue to say it. Maybe I’ll start a protest group in Russia. The Metallica video for Whisky in the Jar. Anyone familiar? Uh, its insane. The band is playing in a house. The only people in the house are scantily clad women performing acts of drunken debauchery. I’m not sure what the point is, if there is one. Perhaps its just what they think a slumber party is. Although on further inspection, I think its what they wish a slumber party was. Now I realize that they are not in the same house. Or they are, but not at the same time? An alternate reality perhaps? Do you see what happens when my only English outlet is my own head and old music videos?