The Queen's ID

So for the unaware, I'm a government contractor by day and a nightclub employee by night....

www.930.com

Not really a nightclub per se.  It's a music venue.  About 1000 capacity.  Pretty rad place if do say so myself...which I do.

But I'm checking in now to discuss IDs.

Last night (The B-52s) was the night for bizarre IDs.  One guy, in his 50's left his ID in the limo, sad day.  So he tried to use his friends.  We do verify that you are carrying a valid ID if you want to drink in our establishment.  The guy checking IDs just laughed and said, "Who is this?!"  Then 5 minutes later, this guy decides that it'll be real funny to give our ID guy an expired ID, make him explain why he can't accept that, and then give him the new one.  The customer really got a kick out of that.  He was at the show by himself...

Then my rotation at IDs.  I get an Australian Diplomat ID paired with a Department of State Drivers License. Had no clue they even issued those.

Then come the drag queens.  I think they were surprised I gave them no trouble.  One of the first things you learn is to check the nose, the brow bone, and the jawline.  Those can't really change much.  So the first guy comes through, I look at his license, he says, "It's me I swear!"  I say, "I know, no matter how much makeup you put on it, it's still the same nose!"  He says, "Did you hear that?!  I'm getting plastic surgery!"  Thankfully he was feigning offence...I hope.  Next queen comes through.  Tallllll.  Huge hands.  Terrible makeup.  Why do they keep doing that gross lip liner!!  Not an attractive queen at all...except.  The drivers license photo.  HOLY CRAP.  I was a little fuh-klemped.  HOT.  Seriously.  I can't get over how hot this guy was!  I couldn't help but actually tell him what a good looking man he was.  In the hopes that he takes the dress off, starts liking girls and takes me away?  Well, one can hope...