How to half-ass a major foreign city.

How to half-ass a major foreign city.

Well, first you have to be completely goal-less. I mean, you want to have some sort of goal, or you won't even half-ass the city, but you can't actually care to achieve this goal. You have to have some feeling of necessity but not necessarily of wanting, i.e. motivation.

So let's say for example you want to visit something just out of town. First of all, don't put too much effort into finding out how to get there. Just get a general idea and head that direction. Now on your way, you may meet people who want to disturb your plan to only half-ass this. They may try to guide you all the way to your destination, thereby making it easier to get to said destination and enjoy it. Don't be rude, allow the help, but don't let it derail your plan.

So you've gotten to the destination, just for an example, let's use "Catherine's Palace". I mean, let's be honest, once you've seen a million gardens and fancy baroque buildings, the only thing to see is the Amber Room right? So for example, let's say you manage to arrive at this destination. You've almost completed a visit. That is not half-assing it. Never fear. There will surely be something to deter you. Hopefully you find that there is a line a mile long that doesn't seem to be moving. This will give you ample time to stand outside said building. Photograph some things, look like you're really put out that you can't get in, and then slyly make your exit.

You leave with enough pictures to say you've been there, but you didn't have to waste all day long!

Example two: Let's say there's a big church with a big tower. I don't know, let's call it Isaac's Cathedral. So here's an easy one. All churches look the same inside right? This one has one ticket for the church, and one for the tower. You need some excercise, and you'll get better pictures from the top anyway, so just buy a ticket for the tower! If there was an equation for half-assing something, this particular example would be textbook.

Example Three: Let's say there's a museum with four floors. Come on, four floors? Let's just say this museum is mostly about culture, and while you find it interesting, you may or may not be cultured out. You may or may not believe that the particular country you are in is the most apt at explaining other people's cultures. And hey! There's bottled freaks on the second floor! So you can say that technically you went to half the museum. Just because you only really looked in one room, who cares? If you've made it this far, you probably know everything else anyway...

Example Four. Let's say there's a complex of buildings/museums/etc. Just for ease of imagining, let's call it the Peter and Paul Fortress, which I like to call Petey Pablo. So again, this journey will probably take you at least an hour to get there. If along the way you can attempt to find something to eat and be deterred, Oh let's say 4 times due to lack of credit card machines at restaurants, and lack of change at the kiosks, you will be much more motivated to half-ass this site. Also, if the one part you actually really want to see is closed, even better. So here, you can easily take a picture of a wall or two and prove you did actually go.

I hope you've found this educational. It's not at all true to life...completely hypothetical.....