- eavesdropping on convos

"I'm getting ready for the millions coming to us.  I'm working here handling millions for the government in preparation for the millions coming to us.  I know it's coming.  You had a good dream, mama had a good dream a month ago, I had a good dream about a month ago.  It's coming...(pause)...See that was the devil that made the call drop.  You say good things out loud, the devil just wants to shut you down.  You know the devil made the call drop."

A Dating Rant.

Gender Equality, not Gender Reversal.

I suppose I should state here, that the idea of Gender Equality, as far as I'm concerned, does not mean the genders are equal.  It means, they get equal opportunities.  What they do with those opportunities depends on their own and their gender based limitations/skills.

But that's not what this is about.  There is also the idea, that women are equal to men, ie, women should be able to ask a man out, call a man, sleep with a man and not call/return a call.

This is all true.  We are able to do that.  But we shouldn't HAVE to.

There are too many men out there, that have become plain lazy, or just lost the cods to man up!  They wait around like a pathetic high school girl in the 50's.   Hoping the phone will ring.  They've been so scared/scarred by feminists, they're afraid to ask a girl out, make a plan, or state their opinion.

Don't let the girls run you over men!!

Gender Equality, not Gender Reversal.

Dating is awkward, let's split the responsibility!

Movies

Everything Must Go.

Will Farrell's comedic style is perfect for a snarky Dramedy.  This movie, while it takes turns for the depressing, is well worth the price of admission.

Basic Plot:  Man loses job, loses wife, falls off the wagon, lives on his lawn.  Insert some neighbors, you've got a flick.


Cowboys and Aliens.

When I heard about this movie, I was quite frankly disgusted.  However, after watching a preview, I'm sold.  I think it's the perfect vehicle for Harrison Ford to make an old guy action flick.  And I'm interested to see how Daniel Craig pulls off cowboy.


But then, if you don't feel like spending money, I'd recommend just watching Hunter Thompson videos on youtube...

This a wok...or something.   Apparently they were making Paella in it.  Looked like fried rice to me.

Baking your Bits in an Easy-Bake Oven

Sometimes I do fancy things like hire a car to the sauna, maybe get some laser treatment, go for a drive.

Do I think I'm better than you for this?  Honestly; a little, yes.

Pride cometh before the fall.

I fall a lot.

This is one such story.

Last week I went to the sauna.  They were having a special.  Sauna entrance plus a sitz bath for 45$.  I don't know what a sitz bath is, but it sounds like a soaking.  I read the description, it says something about heat up to the navel.  It also says it's good for...sore ovaries, sore testicles, and hemorrhoids (what the hell is the etymology of that word, it took 5 minutes to spell it properly).  But on the list of benefits, the first thing mentioned was "muscular problems".  Well, I had just been told by a doctorly type person that I needed to soak my leg.  So, under the pretenses that this was a soaking situation up to the navel, I signed up even though I have no immediate problems with my testicles...

I go to the locker room and relax in the pool, do the dry cake sauna.  I go sit in some of the other crystal chambers, and then head on to my "bath".  

...

Two women take me upstairs to a room marked, "Sitz Bath #1".  We enter into a small space where I see a leather chair.  They ask me to take my pants off.  Then they pull out this cloak...really, it was a shower curtain.  Like a cross between a shower curtain and a barbers cape.  So I pull that on up to my neck.  When I first saw it, I thought, Sweet!  Water bag!  Because I've had this invention in my head for a while.  I always want to nap in the bathtub, but it's not terribly comfortable and the water gets cold.  My idea is to have a self-heating water type bag, that you put your whole body in and then you can take naps as though you were in the tub!  You can imagine my dismay when I put this thing on and it was open at the bottom.

The chair.

You know those old "toilets".  When we decided we needed to sit to toilet, rather than squat?  So it was just a chair, with a hole, over a pot/bowl.  

I submit these to jog your memory.  I really like the second one:

But in my situation, the chair was much the shape of the first one, but covered in leather, with a leather lid.  And the "pot" was attached to the underside of the chair.  And was full of infrared bulbs.

No water.

No soaking.

Only baking.

One woman turns it on and asks me to wave my hand over it to see if it's too hot.  Still unsure what was going on, I say it's fine.

Both ladies step up to help me with my...shower cloak.  Lifting to make sure my bits can get full exposure to the oven.

I sit down and they hand me a magazine...well they tried.  I asked them how I would read with my hands under the shower cloak.

As they're leaving, I sense my buns starting to burn and asked them just as they were leaving to turn the heat down.

And then I sat there for 30 minutes.  I mean, damn, I paid for it, and a new experience is a new story, and a new reason for me to talk, and I can never have enough of that.

Afterwards one lady came back to help me dress...I was still too stunned to protest.  And then back to the nude bathing area.  I felt...dirty somehow.  Like everyone was looking at me and thinking, "Look at her, she has sore testicles".    I got over it.

I've now looked up what a sitz bath is.  It seems it is meant to be a soaking, but only your bits.  

So if your bits are abotherin' ya, get out yer washtub and set fer a piece.  

Those progressive penguins...

"Female penguins will trade sex for rocks".  Heard that on the radio this morning.  I mean, female humans trade sex for rocks all the time.

But let's look deeper...


After sexing up the male penguin, she steals his rocks.  But this isn't her mate.  This is her boo on the side.  Or is it?  So much for mating for life!!


Learning more, I realized this may be more of a dedicated pimp situation.  It seems that the male is a one penguin man.  But the female, she has to go out and work it to get some rocks.  Now as far as I know, the rocks are used for the nest.  And I seem to remember that the male penguin takes care of the babies, or at least helps a lot.


So maybe what we have here, is a stay at home dad / working mom situation.  Well, "working girl" mom situation.


Pretty progressive those penguins.


Next thing we know, we'll find out they have gay penguins adopting children...

Nevruz @ the Lincoln Theatre

I post this one just for placement purposes.  Get in the vibe.  And look at the eggs!

.

Take John Galliano melded with Alexander McQueen and you still won't get anything as fierce as these girls.  I wish I had gotten video.  It was so high fashion.

- knowledge is powered

- what you need from todays Express.

Movies to Watch Out For

Beginners.

Ewan MacGregor
Christopher Plummer
Melanie Laurent
a cute dog
others.

Ewan buys a dog to make up for not having a girl when his parents had such a successful marriage.  Then finds a girl. Then mom dies and finds out dad is gay.

Also, the dog has subtitles.

Definitely a cute dramedy.

Water for Elephants.

Robert Pattinson
Reese Witherspoon
Christopher Waltz
Hal Holbrook

Make a movie about the circus, and I'm going to watch it.  At first glance, you may not be impressed by the cast, but Pattinson, while involved in shite vampire nonsense, is a quality actor.  And Waltz?  Come on!

Essentially, Holbrook recounts his tale of living in the circus and witnessing an awful disaster therein.